mentally ill in jail

Mentally Ill In Jails And Prisons – Book About Correctional Mental Health, ‘And Some Will Triumph’, Provides Heartbreaking Tales Of Real Life Situations

The mental health crisis in America has reached epic proportions. One grim aspect of the problem is the sheer number of mentally ill individuals who end up incarcerated in jails and prisons. These types of cases have overloaded the system and have caused law enforcement to take drastic measures to overcome what can only be called a dismal failure of the system.

As a psychiatric nurse working in the correctional system, Virginia journeyed inside the minds of the mentally ill. Her book, ‘And Some Will Triumph, is a dramatic retelling of the heartbreaking situations she encountered every day. It is Virginia’s fervent hope that her book will be made into a movie or television series. If she can accomplish that, the result could be record shattering. It would shine a bright light on the problem and would enlighten the public as to the mind-boggling problems law enforcement must deal with on a daily basis.

“You may think the jail is full of criminals, but what if I told you that’s not true,” stated Sollars. “What if circumstances beyond the person’s control brought them to this enclosure? As a Correctional Psychiatric Nurse, I worked the triage desk at a large jail system in California for over two decades and I have decided to tell some of their stories.”

“Chris is a schizophrenic. He wears a paper hat that protects him from the aliens whom he believes can read his thoughts. What happened to his brother many years ago when Chris was seeing and hearing things that weren’t real? And who is under his closet floorboard?”

“April sits in her cell quietly, staring at the wall. She is in a mental health bed on suicide watch, she is not allowed with others. She is deeply depressed. Why did she kill her children, why does she say she was trying to protect them?”

“Zfua, from Africa, is in for murdering her husband, chopping him up, and leaving pieces of him with her neighbors. She seems so pleasant, so normal, why would she do something like that? What were the circumstances in her life that lead her to that moment?”

“And Joy, young, sad, Joy. Her parents left her in the care of her older brother. She is in for drugs that her brother started her on as a child. Since the age of ten, he pimped her out to his friends. Did she have a life, did she have a chance?”

“Lilly frightens even the deputies at times. Her voice and face seems to change along with her personality? Who is she really and who killed her child?”

“Annette suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder and continuously states the numbers 629. We come to understand the meaning of this when she reveals her past.”

“Jamie is developmentally disabled. She attacked and hurt a homeless man. She always has a difficult time with other inmates taking advantage of her sexually and otherwise.”

“‘And Some Will Triumph’ is character based and there are many more characters than these few. The stories within are all true, I only changed the names and their appearances.”

“Why do people murder, drink and drive, cut on themselves, stalk others, become so depressed that they become psychotic? What happens to people who hear voices?

‘And Some Will Triumph’ relates the journey of Elizabeth, a compassionate nurse who comes to California from New York with her teenage daughter to work at the fictional Raine Correctional Facility. Elizabeth finds herself interacting with some of society’s most troubled and challenging inmates and shows how she must at times fight the system to give the best care to her patients. Elizabeth tells the stories of both the psychiatric inmates as well as the nurses who have problems in their lives as well. Since the book is based on my professional experience, it is an insider’s look into the minds of psychiatric inmates revealing their secrets, regrets, frustrations and hopes and how they cope with their life in jail. But my book is more than just the story. It explains the many mental health disorders in such a way that people without a medical background can understand, points out the broken mental health system and describes the reasons why the mentally ill are incarcerated.”

“I believe my book has great potential for a television series. Each character can be separated, their lives in the jail a separate story in the series. I hope that a series becomes a reality so that not only can people be entertained, but gain knowledge into what really goes on in a jail system for the mentally ill.”

Sollars’ book has received rave reviews from readers. Kirkus Reviews said the book is ….” a remarkable timeline of the treatment of mental illness in the past 40 years, and it’s a triumphant account of her boldness as a mother, nurse, and woman. At a time when mental health is in the forefront of conversations about our health care system, her story is one of hope.”

One reader stated, “Absolutely the best book I’ve read in years, uncensored look into correctional mental health, patients, inmates and the professionals who deal with some of society’s most troubled criminals, their day to day struggles all interwoven within a gripping story of murder and suspense. A must read!” Another said, “Awesome story! While the story keeps you turning the pages to see what happens next, the real plight of the mental health patients in a correctional setting is heartbreaking.”

Virginia Sollars is available for media interviews and can be reached using the information below or by email at virginiasollars@yahoo.com. ‘And Some Will Triumph’ is available at online retailers. More information is available at her website at http://www.virginiasollars.net.

The Mentally Ill Should Not Be Stuck In Jails and Prisons – Much More Can Be Done Says Virginia Sollars, Author Of ‘And Some Will Triumph’

All over the country mentally ill people are being incarcerated in jails and prisons for minor crimes. Mentally ill people should not be incarcerated, and jails and prisons are generally not capable of providing what these people really need. A recent article on V-news.com presented an in-depth, fact-filled overview of what is being done to keep the mentally ill out of jails and prisons. Here are some of the comments I made regarding the article:

“Crises Intervention Training (CIT) for police officers and deputies is great and sorely needed as most get a few hours of training during orientation and learn in the field,” Sollars stated. “Psychiatric Emergency Services (PES Units) are also a wonderful idea. According to claims by the Alameda Model in Ca. this has enabled 75% of psychiatric individuals to achieve enough stability to enable them to either go home or to a community based program within twenty-four hours. However, I have no statistics telling me how long they remain home, in these units, or out of jail. These programs lull us into believing that all will be well with the mental health crises that is gripping our country and filling our emergency rooms.”

“Though police officers with their new training may be better equipped at deescalating a crises situation with a mentally ill person, still, the fact remains that most of the mentally ill will end up in the jail system. There they will await state competency evaluation, if not incarcerated for a minor crime. Since the state is usually out of beds, they end up staying in jail for a long time. And let’s face it, forty hours of training is a drop in an ocean in dealing with the mentally ill. I have been a psychiatric nurse for over 36 years, 26 In corrections and at times it took all my years of training to make a situation safe. I believe it is a good start, but that’s it. I think officers should be more knowledgeable, therefore I believe college courses are in order. They should have a basis of what psychiatry and the many mental disorders are about. You cannot deescalate a paranoid schizophrenic who is hearing voices, sometimes telling him/her commands to hurt others or himself the same way you would a person suffering from a manic episode from bi-polar disorder. No two situations are ever alike, nor should be treated as such.”

“As to the PES units, again all well and good. But where are these community based programs and what do they offer and to how many? Are you going to tell me that a floridly psychotic person is going to be okay in them? I still believe that what is really needed is state run psychiatric hospitals, like we had in the past, with lock down units.”

“Crises Intervention Teams also assist police officers, but unfortunately most work banker’s hours and many are social workers who are not equipped to handle a crises situation, it is not within their realm of training. Even with psychiatric nurses available, sometimes it just takes too long to get there to diffuse an ongoing situation.”

“Also, the mentally ill have rights. I understand that in some states their charges will be dropped if they follow a program, and even if they do for a while, I can assure you most will drop out, especially if drugs are involved. I have worked psychiatric emergency units, I even worked a mobile unit where we went into condemned buildings hoping to keep the mentally ill out of the hospitals and I know many of them, if not most, do not want to take medication. “

“I don’t want to downplay what is being done, thank God something is, but again I do not want people believing that these are all the answers.”

The Mentally Ill Stuck In Jails and Prisons – Education Is Key To Solving The Problem

This is an excerpt from a news article I recently posted. It makes some very important points:

It is a sad fact today that many mentally ill people in the U.S. often end up in jail or prison. This horrific situation is no small problem – it is a catastrophe. It is not one of those things that will go away if we just ignore it. This has instead become a national crisis. While there are no easy fixes, it is imperative that action be taken.

A story by Karen Libby on OzarksFirst.com provides information on how a new tax law signed by Governor Ava Hutchinson will establish a number of regional Mental Health Crisis Stabilization Centers, providing $5 million dollars slated to provide mental health evaluation and treatment. Money is important, but education is equally important if not more so, according to Virginia Sollars, author of ‘And Some Will Triumph’.

“We do not have the facilities or the funds to heal the mentally ill,” Sollars stated, “though it seems as if due to news articles of recent deaths in prison and jails, people are becoming more aware of the issues that the mentally ill face. In the 1950’s Congress passed the National Mental Health Act and the Community Center Act. The later provided seed money to States to create community based facilities to replace state hospitals as the primary care center. However, what has happened due to many circumstances such as the economy and lack of funding is that jails and prisons have become the new institutions for the mentally ill, many who are homeless. Mentally ill repeat offenders have as high as a 90% recidivism rate and commit crimes that have been categorized by one study as crimes of survival. They are incarcerated for shoplifting, loitering, trespassing, public intoxication and disturbing the peace.”

“I know many people might ask why they are not maintained on medication. Again, the facilities are not set up for the many that are in need. Even those who have families that care for them stop taking their medications for a variety of reasons. Think about this, your doctor tells you that you must take your antibiotic for at least ten days. By day four you are feeling better and stop. A few days later the symptoms are back again and now it is worse. It is the same way for the mentally ill. They stop hearing voices, or the depression is better, or for people with bipolar disorder they may be missing the highs, so they stop their meds and end up getting into trouble. Suicide by cop is a familiar scenario, putting both the officers and the mentally ill in jeopardy.”

“In Orange County, which has a population of over 3 million, we have 10 beds for acute psychiatric patients with no insurance and that facility does not take medically ill people or the elderly. Though there are hospitals that take them on an emergency basis, it is to the detriment of other people who are ill and in need of assistance. Also, an officer has to accompany them, taking that officer off the street where he or she is needed.”

“Here is a case scenario: A police officer is called to a scene where there is a mentally ill person. If that officer has been on the street for years, then hopefully he has learned enough about the mentally ill to deal with the person correctly. Sometimes it is just a matter of giving the mentally ill person enough space, not rushing in, not making a bad situation worse. Many officers only receive three to five hours of training when they are at the academy. Though now some have received CIT (Crisis Intervention Training) which could be as high as forty hours, as a psychiatric nurse of over 36 years and a correctional nurse for over 26, I know that it takes many years and many interactions to obtain the knowledge necessary so that no one gets hurt. There were times when I needed to call on all my years of experience to contain a situation.”

“The mentally ill can be extremely volatile and can strike out due to paranoia or fear of authority. Many have come in contact with the law at one time or another and for most it has been a horrifying experience. The mentally ill person may be paranoid and feel the officer is going to hurt him, or having command hallucinations demanding that he attack, not understanding that this will lead to imprisonment and sometimes death. Even if that person is contained in a human manner, the officers usually need medical clearance to bring them to a mental health facility. This leads to the officer sitting for hours, maybe days at an emergency room for a mental health bed to become available, leaving him off the street where he is needed. What usually happens is that they bring the mentally ill to jail. If it is a minor charge, that person may be on the street within twenty-four hours, given a time and date to appear at court. As many mentally ill have no idea what day, month, or year it is, they don’t show up and it becomes a warrant. So, the next time they come in contact with law enforcement, then end up staying. Unfortunately, the jail is not the place for the mentally ill. There are few beds for them and personnel is overwhelmed. They get lost in the system and sometimes mental health is not advised of their incarceration until they have hurt themselves or someone else. The problem is nationwide.”

“I think that all law enforcement should be better versed on mental illness. They should be giving courses that are mandatory and not learn how to deal with them on the job. There are psychiatric teams that do come out to assist, but some work banker’s hours and others just take too long to get there.”

“We need to educate people and it should start in the classrooms and at home.”

Schizophrenia

Chris wears a hat, in the jail, believing that it will protect him.
“Does your hat still help?” I asked.
“It stops the aliens from reading my thoughts or from hurting me, and I wanted to tell you to get one as soon as possible.” I thanked him and wished him luck. “They will take the hat away and I will be lost,” he said, his face sad. I wondered where Chris’ family was, why no one had visited him. Someone must have been helping him pay for his apartment, but no one had come forward.
“Good-bye, Chris. Be careful and take care of yourself.” I thanked the guard and walked away.
Chris watched her go; he liked Elizabeth, but he had liked the woman who befriended him at the apartment also, till she turned. He thought back to his childhood. He was a genius, his parents always told him so. He could read and write by the age of four, but the aliens were always there even then, though they were just soft whispers. His
mother called them angels watching over him. By the time he was six, he knew they weren’t angels, but something bad and nasty. They said mean things to him about his mother and especially about his younger brother. He tried to tell his parents about the voices, but his father never took him seriously, and his mother only looked afraid. His father began to scold him, telling him he was too old to be playing these games and he didn’t want to hear about it anymore. His mother would listen and cry sometimes. His younger brother laughed at him.

Then on his seventh birthday, his brother changed. At first, Chris didn’t believe it; he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. The voices were screaming at him, “look, look!” and he had looked. He remembered distinctly how his brother’s face changed, just for a moment, then changed back. “Did you see?” said the voices. “Did you see?” they repeated again and again. He was scared. He wanted to tell his parents, but was afraid to upset his mother, and he didn’t want his father yelling at him again. He was even afraid his father might hit him, though he had never done that before. He had heard his parents fighting one night, something they never did, and he had heard his name. Were they angry with him? Did they know about his brother? He watched his brother’s face every day; he stayed in the house not playing with his friends, yet nothing else happened, except for that day.
It was a long time before his brother changed again. It was a Friday and they were watching a Disney movie. He couldn’t remember the name of it now, however, he remembered it had been a wonderful night. But then his brother turned to him, asking him a question, and that face was there again, leering at him. The voices had been silent for some time, but they were back now, and he had to cover his ears they were so loud. When the voices subsided, he told his parents to look at his brother.
“Look at his face, Mom,” he pleaded. “Please look.” Instead, his parents looked at him and he knew they didn’t see.
The next week he went to see a doctor. It was the first of the many times he would see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnosed him with schizophrenia, explaining to his parents that Chris was hearing and seeing things that weren’t real. The psychiatrist started him on pills and his mother made sure he took them. His brother’s face was his once more. But when Chris turned thirteen, he knew it was his brother making his parents believe he needed medication, making them believe he was sick. The voices told him this and much more. They told him to
stop taking the medication. The voices warned him that if his brother stayed in the home, his parents would get rid of Chris. “Get rid of your brother first,” said the voices. “Kill him,” they said again and again. “Kill him before they get rid of you.” His brother’s face was changing again, and he knew the voices were right—he had to be free of his brother.
When his brother didn’t show up on the bus from school, his parents drilled him. Then the house was full of police and everybody was talking loudly. That night they found his brother’s body. His mother took him to her room and hugged him.
She said, “I know you didn’t mean to do it, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have had children. My sister was sick all her life, as were others in my family, and I should have told your father.” The following day, he was sent away and he never saw his parents again. Excerpt from my book “And Some Will Triumph”

Schizophrenia is a mental disorder whereby the person has psychotic features, that is he or she cannot tell what is real and what is not. The person has hallucinations, mostly auditory, that is they hear voices or noises in their head that no one else can hear. They can also have visual hallucination. They also suffer from delusions, false beliefs that people are out to harm them or that they are an angel or God. It is one of the most difficult mental health disorders to control and all need medications. If you feel that someone you know is suffering from this, by all means get help.

Disappointments

We have all had them, from little ones, a dog or cat already taken when your heart was set on that one, or maybe we weren’t asked to the prom. Or perhaps you have since encountered larger ones, failed relationships, lost love, or the career you expected to take off did not. How we handle them tells us much about the people we are.
Do we become angry, lash out? This is never good, it accomplishes nothing and wastes energy.
Do we become depressed? Again, a waste of time, it’s not going change anything if we wallow in self-pity, moping about, making everyone around us miserable.
Remember as a child your parents telling you to just get over it? Well for the most part, they were right. It’s a basic part of life, accepting the many disappointments life brings us and having the ability to move on.
It is a good thing for parents to allow children to suffer some disappointments, so they can handle the bigger ones that come later on. Our brain stores all these memories and when the feeling of disappointment returns we can say, “Hey I remember this, it’s okay, it passes and eventually something else comes along, I can do this.” And hopefully, each one becomes easier.
We have all been there and must trust that things will get better.

Regrets

I think that regret is the hardest thing to accept in life. I know for myself I have many. I think why did I do this or that, the latest in my regret pile is the loss of my cat Sir Alexander Fox and being that it was my fault, makes it harder to accept. Why didn’t I take him to the vet sooner, if only I had done that he would still be alive. These thoughts plague my mind. Or the regret over my mother, who died last year. Even though she was not quite herself, most times, why didn’t I spend more time with her? Perhaps it was selfishness or maybe self-preservation, I really don’t know to this day. It was hard seeing my mother go downhill, she who was always so strong. But the more I talk with people, the more I realize that we are a society steeped in regrets.
Why didn’t I buy that house, why didn’t I listen to my child, I would have realized she or he was in trouble, what was I doing with my time, why did I put my money in that stock are some of the statements I hear from people?
The horrible truth, unfortunately, is that we cannot go back. The good news, however, is that we can move forward and not make the same mistakes. I think we should live each day so that when we do look back we do not feel that we missed opportunities or failed our children, spouses or friends. Let’s try and really think about the things we do and what consequences they will have in the future, before we make them.
We also have to realize, in looking back, at what made us make that particular arrangement at that time, remember hindsight is 20/20. Maybe we were at a different place, different people and that decision was the best we could make at that particular moment. Maybe then, we didn’t have the choices we have at our disposal now.
Still, mistakes happen, we are only human, and they are very much a part of life. So, the next time you look back with regret, think ahead instead. Think of all the good decisions you still have time for, and do the best you can. That is all anyone can hope to do.

The Mandela Effect

For those of you who have no knowledge of this, I will explain. The phrase was coined by a paranormal consultant, Fiona Broome, when she first became aware of the phenomenon. She discovered that she shared a specific memory with many others. It was of the death of South African activist and president Nelson Mandela, who she remembered dying in 1980 in prison, only to learn that he did not die then, but instead, died in 2013. For myself, I distinctly remember him dying in the 1980’s. I remember discussing it with my family and friends and reading it in the papers. I saw it televised.
And how about this one. Everyone has read all the fairy tales numerous times, I am sure. Which sounds right to you Mirror, Mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all? or Magic Mirror on the wall. Now I have read Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs numerous times to my daughter and it has always been Mirror, Mirror. Now they are telling me that I am not remembering correctly and if you look it up it now says Magic Mirror.
How about C-3PO in Star Wars having a silver leg? Again I don’t remember that, he was always gold. How do you remember it? And Tank Boy, I remember him being run over by tanks in the protest in China in the late 1980’s. Now it seems he lived. Yet I remember the news showing him being run over and the media fiasco that ensued. Disturbing?
Just glitches in memory, I doubt it, there are too many people involved. Parallel universes merging- the many interacting world concept, perhaps, that makes more sense. People going in infinite trajectories, therefore seeing different things, or some say it is just a simple matter of perception? People have speculated that we are in a Matrix situation, or part of a huge video game, I have trouble believing that, I feel very real. There is so much we don’t know and we are just grazing the surface when it comes to quantum mechanics.
If you haven’t been reading about this, you should. It is both fascinating, fun, and troubling. Your thoughts?

Abusive Relationships

There was one interesting case, when I worked in the jail, which dealt with a woman who shot her husband. She was not mentally ill, however as mental health saw all high-profile cases, I did interview her. She was in a good mood and seemed very prepared to do the time for her crime.
“It was worth it,” she said. “You should have seen his face when I pulled out the gun. He laughed at me, until I shot his knee out. He wasn’t laughing after that, though I was. I laughed and laughed. I shot him three more times and watched him squirm on the floor. I told him to beg for his life and he spit at me. Can you believe he actually spit in my face? I shot him in the head then. It was wonderful seeing him fall over, knowing he would never get up or hurt me again.” She paused, looked around her, then continued. “And, I have the satisfaction of knowing he went straight to hell, the mean son of a bitch. He was a piece of shit, beat me for years and treated me worse than an animal.” She took a long breath then said, “I was so depressed with my life, that I went to see a psychiatrist. She hooked me up with a group for abused
women. Those meetings made me feel so empowered. They made me feel as if I could still have a life, that I could leave my husband and move on. But that wasn’t what I wanted to do. I wanted to see him suffer and die. Wonderful those meetings, made me the person I am today,” and she laughed. Excerpt from my book “And Some Will Triumph”
Are you in an abusive relationship? Are you afraid of the person you are living with or your significant other? Do you feel it was your fault when he yells at you, calling you stupid or hits you? Do you feel like you are walking on egg shells all the time, never knowing what will upset him, afraid to say or do anything? Do you think that since he just yells at you, that he will never hit you?
As most abusers are men, I am going to use he. That is not to say that there are not men out there that are abused, there are, but for my purposes, I will be using he. Let me tell you how it usually goes. At the beginning of the relationship, he will try to isolate you from your family and friends. He will either convince you that they don’t like him and he feels put down by them, making you feel sorry for him and wanting to protect his feelings, or that they don’t care for you and are putting you down. This is, of course, a ruse. But trust me, he will make it sound very believable. During this time, he will be good to you, take you to dinner and be very attentive. He will compliment you, call you beautiful and make you feel important and cherished. It is all part of the plan and that will change once he has isolated you. Soon, he will make you feel that the only person who cares about you is him. He will make you feel that you are unworthy of love and only he can love you. “See how your family and friends don’t call or invite you over anymore, they don’t care about you, only I do” he might say, though it was he who actually separated you. However, if you point that out, he will become upset and you will probably back down. After all, things have been going so well. So, his campaign will continue, he will break you down little by little, day by day, till you don’t know who you are anymore. Eventually, you will look in the mirror and not recognize yourself. He is a control freak and he will try to manage every aspect of your life.
There is a routine to this macabre dance. He will blame you for everything that goes wrong in his life and to keep the peace you will let him and soon even believe him. Work not going well, your fault, he got drunk, again because of you. He will take no responsibility for his actions. Eventually you will learn to hate not only him, but yourself. You might call it love, but trust me, it is not.
These manipulators of your soul will be charming, especially after the abuse. This is called the honeymoon period. He will tell you how sorry he is, how it will never happen again. He might even cry. But it will happen again and again and verbal abuse will become physical. And each time you don’t leave, each day you stay, he will become bolder until the charm will stop completely and there will only be abuse.
This is a sad and very dangerous situation to be in, so if you are in an abusive relationship, do try to reach out to someone, a hotline perhaps or if you fear for your life, a shelter. It will not get better and you may find yourself that person in the jail.

Erotomania

One day, while working in the jail, I interviewed a man named James, a forty-four-year-old whose looks were unremarkable, though he was even featured. He was a computer expert and said he had a good job. He was about five feet nine inches and pudgy, though he was dressed neatly. He suffered from erotomania, which the DSM, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders explains as a type of delusion (a false belief) in which the person believes that someone unavailable to them, most times someone famous, is in love with them. Stalking is common. I knew from experience that people afflicted with this disorder could be frightening and dangerous. James had met a woman, named Sara, at a conference. She was famous in the self-help arena. He was convinced she was in love with him and needed rescuing from her husband. James had repeatedly shown up at her place of work. He had brought her flowers, cards, and presents. Though she had tried to reason with him, he had persisted, and had even followed her to her home one night. Sara had finally gotten a restraining order, stating he was stalking her. He had been arrested for violating that restraining order. I felt sorry for the family and frightened for them as well. James explained very carefully to me all the reasons why Sara loved him and how she was going to divorce her husband and marry him. Then he said something that made the hair on the back of my head rise: “Or maybe we will just have to get rid of him.” Excerpt from my book “And Some Will Triumph.”
Eventually, this woman was hurt. Though she had a restraining order, he broke into her home and almost kidnapped her. Had he not been arrested, I think he would have eventually either have killed her, because of her rejections, or killed her husband. Some scary people out there.

Losses

Can you remember the first time you lost something? Maybe it was a stuff animal your mother threw away because it had been washed too many times and it was falling apart and you cried for days. Or perhaps your brother broke your favorite toy because he was jealous.
Then a friend moves away, or you lose a pet. The loss of knowing that your parents are imperfect, and make mistakes. Childhood losses may seem small to some, even so, for the child they are monumental. Still, losses in childhood are invaluable. They teach the child that all is not right with the world all the time.
The teenage years come with all their emotional turmoil. Break-ups with boyfriends or girlfriends, the college of choice not attained, parents divorcing. Bigger loses now, and it takes a longer time to bounce back from them.
Then comes adulthood with its myriad of issues. Sick children, spouses cheating, loss of employment are only a few of the many disappointments and losses that may be experienced.
Then we see our parents age, watch in dismay as they lose their mobility, their independence and finally their life.
Losses lead to grief. At first there is shock and disbelief. How can this be happening to me, it’s not possible! Denial comes next, and we may hide away hoping and praying that it will all go away. If we don’t acknowledge it, it isn’t so. When we finally start to come to grip with the loss, we get angry. We may rail against life, family, friends and God. Why, we may ask, has this happened to me? I do not deserve this. We need someone to blame. Finally, the anger subsides and bargaining starts. I promise I will go to church each Sunday if God grants that my child be well, or my husband comes back to me. I promise I will do more in my life. Finally, there is acceptance and hope that the future will be better.
Count your blessings each day when things go well and accept that losses are very much a part of life.